6 Myths About Marriage
Popular myths about marriage can be very powerful, can affect a relationship profoundly, and create marriage and relationship problems because of underlying beliefs.
Why can popular relationship or marriage myths create real-life problems? Let’s dive into six popular marriage myths to find out.
Marriage Myth #1
Disagreement can lead to the break up of a relationship.
In fact, disagreements and anger can be healthy for a couple in the long run. Research shows that healthy disagreements in a relationship can help air out differences and is a sign of an equal partnership, not marital problems. Contempt and defensiveness are more damaging to a relationship than anger.
Marriage Myth #2
The presence of criticism and complaints indicates that a relationship is close to the end.
Underneath criticism lies a request for change. A good couples counselor can help turn criticism and complaints into requests. In a good relationship, criticism (when done well and with a soft start) can be helpful in changing certain interactions.
Marriage Myth #3
It is not possible to recover from infidelity.
Research shows that over half of the couples who seek the help of a qualified couples counselor can recover from infidelity and preserve the relationship. In fact, if a relationship survives the revelations of infidelity, it can sometimes lead to a re-negotiation of the relationship, with new boundaries, new rules, and new renewed commitment.
Marriage Myth #4
The most important aspect of intimacy is sexual intimacy.
There are several types of intimacy, sexual intimacy is just one of them. Other kinds of intimacy are intellectual, physical, activity based. Though sexual activity is an important aspect of any good relationship, there are other aspects that are equally important.
Marriage Myth #5
Marriage fixes everything.
Marriage Myth #6
Marriage takes work.
More than work, marriage needs attention. Relationships fail or deteriorate for the same reason that others things in our lives deteriorate, like our bodies, our jobs, our friendships, and our homes. Marriage requires repair and maintenance, just like anything else.
So, what do successful couples do? Successful couples:
- Prioritize their relationship
- Learn to fight fair and know how to make up after a fight
- Figure out how to deal with their differences
- Learn the rules for a successful relationship
- Check out the Rules for Relationship Success, a resource we put together for couples anywhere
- Download an exercise: Let’s Talk About Touch, Not Sex
- Learn more about how Couples Counseling might be helpful for you
- Get in touch to make an appointment or ask any additional questions you have about counseling