You can certainly go through the divorce without the help of a coach. However, assembling the right team when you are going through a divorce can be the difference between a successful experience or a traumatic one. Whether you litigate, mediate, or use the collaborative process, divorce coaching can help make the process of divorce or separation less painful and less costly.
Consider hiring a divorce coach if you are:
- Confused or unsure about the process
- Uncertain about your situation
- Not familiar with the legal process
- Unsure about your next steps
- Paralyzed by fear or anger
- Low in confidence
- In the dark about your financial situation
- Unclear about what will happen after your divorce
Divorce coaching is not therapy or marriage counseling. It is future-oriented and focuses on problem solving. A divorce coach is like a helpful, experienced project manager who will be by your side as you go through the difficult project of divorce.
I often meet with both members of the couple either simultaneously or separately. Each situation is different and may require different approaches. Because not all couples are alike, one size does not fit all. Therefore, I tailor the divorce coaching process to each particular situation.
You can hire a divorce coach before, during, and after a separation or divorce. Here’s what each phase looks like.
Before the Divorce
Most people are under-informed or misinformed about the divorce process. This lack of information provokes fear, anxiety, and reactivity. As a divorce coach, I can guide you as you get educated about how divorce really works, as well as what the cons or pros of each option: mediation, collaborative divorce, or litigated divorce. When you are less anxious and more prepared, you will be able to manage this transition better.
During the Divorce
Divorce coaching helps people clarify their feelings and wishes so that they can negotiate and create a mutually acceptable settlement agreement. This often saves time and attorneys fees. It also reduces unproductive, repetitive, and hurtful emotional struggles that many couples engage in when they are going through a separation or divorce.
After the Divorce
Depending on how the couple navigated the divorce process, sometimes there are post decree issues to deal with. Divorce coaching can save money in attorneys’ fees by clarifying issues, lowering the intensity of the emotions, and have a better outcome of the legal process.
Divorce is a process, not an act, and it requires thoughtful preparation, information, and a cool head. It is also more akin to a business negotiation, but when emotions (fear, anxiety) can get in the way, the process can get derailed and be less constructive.
Why hire me as your divorce coach?
- I have over 25 years of experience working with couples in high conflict situations
- With over 80 hours of training in divorce (all processes), I can help you navigate your options
- I am a fellow of the Collaborative Law Institute of Illinois
As your divorce coach, I want to help you:
- Clarify your goals, fears, and concerns
- Figure out how to parent effectively during difficult situations
- Manage your emotions so you can be more in control of what you can control
- Figure out how to talk, and exactly what to say, to your family, friends, and children about what is going on
Resources and Reading About Divorce Coaching
- What is a Divorce Coach? 3 Questions to Ask When Deciding if a Divorce Coach is Right for You
- 9 Reasons You Should Hire a Divorce Coach
- Understanding Collaborative Divorce Coaching